Midsomer Murders Ep. 'Judgement Day'
Page 4
77.
INT/EXT. LIMOUSINE/M40 DAY.
ROSEMARY
FURMAN is sitting in the back of a chauffeur-driven limo
heading
along the motorway. She’s a glamorous, hard-bitten woman, talking
on the
telephone and holding a copy of the September edition of COUNTRY
MATTERS.
It shows an autumn scene.
ROSEMARY
Ed.
This is Rosemary. I’m phoning
from
the car. We’re going to have to
do
something about the September
cover.
(A brief pause) Darling! I said
autumnal.
That doesn’t have to
mean
bloody funereal. (Pause) No.
I’m out
of London ‘til the end of the
week.
This sodding competition.
We’re
on the M40 now.
She
sneezes loudly.
ROSEMARY
God!
It’s always the same. I only
have to
get ten miles out of London
and my
sodding hay fever kicks in.
CUT TO
ANOTHER
ANGLE
The
limousine speeds on.
CUT TO
- 67 -
78.
EXT. GARDEN DAY.
A
perfect garden full of perfect flowers. The genteel, very English FRANK
MANNION
stands with a pipe and patched sports jacket, talking to camera.
FRANK
The
repeat-blooming climbing rose.
For me,
it’s the crowning glory of
any
garden and what better choice
than
our old friend Albéric Barbier,
a tough
little fellow, almost
evergreen,
with that lovely ripe
apple
smell.
VOICE
And…cut!
We now
reveal that this is the recording of a TV programme and that FRANK
is
being filmed by a full crew. At the same time, he slips into his real
character…a
very camp queen. He calls to the long-suffering DIRECTOR.
FRANK
That’s
it, Jeremy, darling. I’m out of
here.
I’ve got a taxi waiting. See you
in a
week’s time. Toodle-oo…!
CUT TO
79.
INT/EXT. TRAIN/FIRST CLASS CARRIAGE DAY.
SAMANTHA
JOHNSTONE is an elegant, elderly lady with a mournful
expression.
As we join her, she is on a train speeding west. Slowly, she opens a
miniature
whisky and pours it into a glass full of ice. Then, equally slowly, she
places
the empty bottle on the table in front of her.
It is
the seventh in line. SAMANTHA is completely drunk. The PASSENGER
opposite
her looks on disapprovingly.
CUT TO
80.
EXT. THE CROWN HOTEL DAY.
A
modern, ugly hotel one of a chain built in a fake-rustic manner. The hotel
has
about fifty rooms. Busy and impersonal.
- 68 -
CULLY
and JOYCE have arrived.
CULLY
Are you
going in, mum?
JOYCE
Yes. Do
I look all right?
CULLY
You
look fine. Do you want me to
come in
with you?
JOYCE
No.
(Pause) Thanks for the lift.
JOYCE
picks up her bag and walks towards the main door.
CUT TO
81.
INT. CROWN HOTEL - MEETING ROOM DAY.
A
round-table meeting in a downstairs room with coffee-making equipment to
one
side. ROSEMARY FURMAN - in a bad mood, eyes streaming - and
SAMANTHA
JOHNSTONE, depressed, smoking and drinking coffee - have
already
arrived.
ROSEMARY
God!
Country hotels! Teas Maids in
the
rooms and teenaged waiters
with
acne in the reception. I was so
glad
you were available, Samantha.
I
thought you might be back in that
…what’s
that psychiatric place you
go to?
The Retreat.
SAMANTHA
No.
ROSEMARY
Depression’s
a terrible thing. Have
you
thought about Prozac?
The
door opens and FRANK MANNION comes in.
- 69 -
FRANK
Oh.
Hello, Rosemary. (Brighter)
Samantha,
how are you?
He
kisses her.
FRANK
I heard
you’d stepped in at the last
minute.
Loved the new book, by the
way.
I’m your biggest fan.
SAMANTHA
(Timid)
Thank you.
ROSEMARY
How are
you, Frank? I haven’t seen
you
since…
FRANK
…since
you fired me, Rosemary.
ROSEMARY
Oh yes.
You’ve got that television
programme
now.
FRANK
“Up the
Garden Path” - and doing
very
nicely, thank you very much.
ROSEMARY
Yes. I
suppose it allows you to
pursue
your interest in pansies.
Before
FRANK can answer, the door opens again and JOYCE comes in. For a
moment
the knives are put away.
JOYCE
Hello…?
ROSEMARY
Joyce
Barnaby?
JOYCE
Yes.
- 70 -
ROSEMARY
I’m
Rosemary Furman. Editor of
Country
Matters. This is Frank
Mannion.
JOYCE
It’s
nice to meet you. I often watch
your
programme.
FRANK
takes JOYCE’S hand to shake it but examines it at the same time…
we
might guess this is a favourite trick of his.
FRANK
Ah! Now
these are green fingers. I’m
sure
you’re a wonderful garden-er. I
can
always tell.
JOYCE
Well…
ROSEMARY
This is
Samantha Johnstone.
SAMANTHA
Nice to
meet you.
JOYCE
How do
you do.
SAMANTHA
(Depressed)
Oh…
ROSEMARY’S
mobile telephone goes off.
ROSEMARY
That’s
the office. Excuse me…
ROSEMARY
takes out her telephone and goes into a corner to have a
conversation
which we don’t hear. Meanwhile, FRANK talks to JOYCE.
FRANK
So you
read “Country Matters”.
JOYCE
Yes.
- 71 -
FRANK
Do you
live in the country?
JOYCE
Yes.
Sort of. I live in Causton.
FRANK
I don’t
know it.
JOYCE
It’s in
Midsomer.
FRANK
Oh yes!
Midsomer Mallow.
JOYCE
That’s
not far.
Meanwhile,
SAMANTHA has gone over to the coffee machine to refill her cup.
SAMANTHA
Coffee?
JOYCE
Not for
me, thank you.
ROSEMARY
comes off the telephone. SAMANTHA brings her coffee to the
table.
FRANK and JOYCE take their places.
ROSEMARY
Right.
We’d better get started then.
Little
Kirkbridge this afternoon.
Midsomer
Mallow tomorrow. Does
anyone
actually know where Midsomer
Mallow
is?
FRANK
I see
you’re as well-informed as
ever,
Rosemary. Joyce here lives
quite
near it.
ROSEMARY
Oh yes?
JOYCE
It’s a
nice place. I’ve passed through
once or
twice.
- 72 -
ROSEMARY
produces a stack of papers.
ROSEMARY
I’ve
had notes done on all the finalists.
We
should take a look at them
before
we go. This coffee’s cold.
Frank-
why don’t you see if you can
get
your hands on a waiter.
FRANK
Fine.
ROSEMARY
But not
literally. Right?
FRANK
looks daggers at ROSEMARY and leaves the room. SAMANTHA
takes
out another miniature bottle of whisky and pours the contents into her
coffee.
Out on
JOYCE. Beginning to wonder what she’s got herself into.
CUT TO
82.
INT. BARNABY’S OFFICE DAY.
BARNABY
is at his desk, looking through a file. TROY knocks on the door.
BARNABY
Ah.
Come in, Troy. This might
interest
you.
TROY
Yes,
sir?
BARNABY
Edward
Allardice. I’ve been checking
up on
him.
BARNABY
shows TROY the file.
BARNABY
He was
telling the truth about the
car
accident. It happened six years
ago. He
was driving. And, according
to the
report, he was drunk.
- 73 -
TROY
So he
killed his wife.
BARNABY
Well,
that’s just the thing. There’s
no
death certificate. His wife’s name
was
Jane Bradley. She was also an
actress
but as far as I can see, she
survived.
TROY
So
where is she now?
BARNABY
A good
question.
TROY
And why
lie about it?
BARNABY
closes the file.
BARNABY
I don’t
know. Nothing in this case
seems
straightforward. Allardice
threatens
to kill him but it was
actually
Marcus Devere who was
there
on the day.
TROY
And Ray
Dorset driving past.
BARNABY
Supposedly
delivering a saddle of
lamb.
Did you check that out?
TROY
Yes. He
was in Causton at ten to
three.
BARNABY
There’s
still something wrong. The
van
passing the farm. I don’t
know…
BARNABY
picks up the credit card, now in an evidence bag.
- 74 -
BARNABY
And
then there’s this.
TROY
Gordon
Brierly’s credit card. We still
haven’t
spoken to him.
BARNABY
Then
it’s time we did.
CUT TO
83.
INT. LAURA BRIERLY’S LIVING ROOM DAY.
LAURA
pours tea for BARNABY and TROY.
LAURA
Gordon
shouldn’t be long. He’s over
at
Poplar Farm. They’ve had an
outbreak
of leptospirosis in their
dairy
cattle. (To TROY) Milk?
TROY
No.
I’ll have mine black, thank you.
BARNABY
Mrs
Brierly, There is something I’m
afraid
I have to ask you. About your
relationship
with Peter Drinkwater.
LAURA
Aah…
BARNABY
We
understand that you and he
were…
TROY
…involved.
LAURA
Yes.
Well, we might as well be adult
about
this. It was a question of
supply
and demand and the truth is
that
Gordon has always been a bit
- 75 -
short
in the supply department, if
you
know what I mean.
BARNABY
He came
to the house?
LAURA
Occasionally.
BARNABY
So it’s
possible he could have picked
up
something of your husband’s
here.
TROY
His
credit card, for example.
LAURA
You’ve
found one of Gordon’s credit
cards?
He never said he’s lost it.
BARNABY
Mrs
Brierly…did you mention your
relationship
with Drinkwater to
Caroline
Devere?
LAURA
Yes, I
did. I thought of it as a public
service.
To warn her off. But of
course
I didn’t need to bother
because
a few hours later he was
dead.
The
door opens and GORDON BRIERLY comes in, just back from the farm,
carrying
his medicine bag.
GORDON
Laura…
LAURA
These
are policemen, Gordon. They
seem to
have found something of
yours.
TROY
produces the credit card in its evidence bag.
- 76 -
TROY
A
credit card, sir.
GORDON
looks at it.
GORDON
Well,
it’s mine all right. Of course.
Where
did you find it?
TROY
At
Windwhistle Farm, sir. Peter
Drinkwater
was squatting there…
GORDON
What?
And he’d taken my credit
card?
BARNABY
Unless
you had been up there and
somehow
dropped it.
GORDON
I
haven’t been up to Windwhistle
Farm.
BARNABY
I’d be
interested to know where you
were,
sir. On Wednesday at around
three
o’clock.
GORDON
Wednesday?
I was operating on
Wednesday.
A cat had to be spayed.
TROY
And you
didn’t go out?
GORDON
No.
Laura was here. She helped me.
We
stayed in together.
A sharp
look from LAURA. She knows GORDON is lying.
CUT TO
84.
EXT. THE VET CLINIC DAY.
- 77 -
GORDON
and LAURA watch from the doorway as BARNABY and TROY drive
away.
LAURA
Why did
you tell him that?
GORDON
What?
LAURA
You
went out on Wedneday. After
you’d
done the cat.
GORDON
Did I?
LAURA
Where
did you go?
GORDON
No I
didn’t, Laura. I was here all
the
time. Do you understand? I
never
left.
And
with a grim look, GORDON goes back into the house. A worried LAURA
is left
on the doorstep.
CUT TO
85.
INT/EXT. TROY’S CAR/ROAD DAY.
TROY
drives BARNABY back towards Windwhistle Farm.
TROY
Caroline
Devere.
BARNABY
What?
TROY
Maybe
she killed him. She’s in love
with
Peter Drinkwater. Laura
Brierly
tells her the truth about
him.
And in a fit of jealous rage…
Stop.
Sorry?
Stop
the car!
TROY
jams on the brakes.
86.
EXT. WINDWHISTLE FARM/LANE DAY.
TROY
was driving past the entrance to Windwhistle Farm. BARNABY gets
out of
the car and crosses the road, trying to work something out. TROY
follows.
BARNABY
(Pointing)
Causton is that way,
right?
And Midsomer Mallow’s back
there.
(Puzzled)
Yes.
I was
just thinking about Ray
Dorset
and his saddle of lamb. If he
was
going to Causton, he was
travelling
east.
BARNABY
gestures. His path would have taken him past the farm on the
same
side of the road as the turn-off.
TROY
I’m not
quite with you, sir.
BARNABY
There’s
something wrong, Troy.
Something
we’ve been told.
- 78 -
BARNABY
TROY
BARNABY
TROY
BARNABY
CUT TO
- 79 -
TROY
Are you
wondering how Ray
managed
to see Marcus Devere
driving
down the lane?
BARNABY
He
didn’t see who was driving.
TROY
But he
saw the car.
BARNABY
looks up the drive.
BARNABY
Yes…
TROY
Do you
think there was someone
else
here?
BARNABY
When
Peter Drinkwater was killed?
By car.
On foot. I wouldn’t be
surprised
if it was half the bloody
village…
Shaking
his head, BARNABY walks back to the car.
CUT TO
87.
EXT. LITTLE KIRKBRIDGE - GREEN DAY.
A
banner reads: LITTLE KIRKBRIDGE WELCOMES COUNTRY MATTERS.
JOYCE
BARNABY, ROSEMARY FURMAN, FRANK MANNION and
SAMANTHA
JOHNSTONE have been shown round the village of Little
Kirkbridge.
Architecturally, this should be as different as possible to Midsomer
Mallow,
suggesting that it’s in a different part of the country.
They
are sitting on wooden chairs on the green. There is a small tent erected
and a
number of watching VILLAGERS, some of them in historical dress. They
are
being addressed by a self-important ALDERMAN, an elderly man in
period dress.
He is reading a scroll: his own composition…a terrible poem.
ALDERMAN
The
village of Little Kirkbridge/Today
you
have it seen/And we finish
- 80 -
now
where we began/Upon the
village
green!
FRANK mutters
to SAMANTHA.
FRANK
Is he
serious?
The
ALDERMAN finds the next page.
ALDERMAN
To
celebrate your visit/And to hope
you’ll
come again/Our merry team of
Morris
Men/Are here to entertain!
And
with a loud chord from an accordion, a dozen MORRIS DANCERS launch
themselves
out of the surprisingly small tent and begin to form a dance with
sticks.
CUT TO
ANOTHER
ANGLE
Only
JOYCE BARNABY is enjoying the spectacle…and even she isn’t overthe-
moon.
At least she’s polite. ROSEMARY doesn’t attempt to hide her
horror.
ROSEMARY
Oh God!
She
yawns…then sneezes at the same time. JOYCE glances in her direction.
CUT TO
88.
INT. CROWN HOTEL - BAR AREA EVENING.
Back at
the hotel. It’s later that evening. JOYCE is on the telephone.
JOYCE
We got
longsword dancing, clogs and
molly
dancing, a Welsh Border
dance
with sticks and finally they
put on
antlers for what they called
an
Abbots Bromley Horn Dance.
- 81 -
CUT TO
89.
INT. BARNABY’S HOUSE - STUDY EVENING.
BARNABY
is at the other end of the phone. From here on, intercut as desired.
BARNABY
So how
many points did you give
them?
JOYCE
I
thought they were rather fun. But
I don’t
think the others were too
impressed.
BARNABY
The
other judges… How are they?
JOYCE
Rosemary
has hay fever. Samantha,
the
writer, well she’s completely
depressed.
Frank Mannion’s all
right
although I’m afraid he
disappeared
after dinner with one of
the
waiters.
BARNABY
(Laughing)
Come home!
JOYCE
I’ll
see you tomorrow. Midsomer
Mallow.
BARNABY
I’ll be
there.
JOYCE
Give my
love to Cully.
BARNABY
Bye!
JOYCE
hangs up and looks round.
CUT TO
- 82 -
ANOTHER
ANGLE
SAMANTHA
JOHNSTONE is alone in the bar. She has a whisky in front of
her and
several empty glasses. She sees JOYCE.
SAMANTHA
Would
you like to join me?
JOYCE
Yes.
All right…
JOYCE
is acting against her better judgement. But perhaps she feels sorry for
SAMANTHA.
And she is on her own. She sits down next to her.
SAMANTHA
I’m so
pleased to meet you. I don’t
know
what happened to the others.
She
drains her whisky in one and calls to the BARMAN.
SAMANTHA
Barman!
Two large whiskies,
please!
(To JOYCE) What are you
going
to have?
Out on
JOYCE’S reaction.
CUT TO
90.
INT. BARNABY’S HOUSE - KITCHEN EVENING.
BARNABY
comes into the kitchen where CULLY is working with a pile of
books
and papers. She looks up.
CULLY
Was
that mum?
BARNABY
Yes.
She sent her love. (Pause)
Where’s
dinner?
CULLY
Oh dad!
I’m sorry. I was at the
theatre
today and they’ve given me
a pile
of stuff. My head’s buzzing
with
ideas. And… (Pause) I forgot.
- 83 -
BARNABY
It’s
all right.
BARNABY
goes to the fridge and takes out a dish with a note attached.
BARNABY
Here’s
something your mother prepared
earlier.
Lasagne. Six minutes
in the
microwave.
As he
puts the lasagne in the microwave, CULLY starts putting her books and
papers
away.
CULLY
Why
didn’t you tell her?
BARNABY
What…?
CULLY
Mum!
About the murder.
BARNABY
Aaah. I
don’t know really. It just
didn’t
seem fair somehow.
CULLY
To her
or to the village?
BARNABY
To
both.
CULLY
I don’t
see how you can be a perfect
village
when you’ve got a homicidal
maniac
running around with a pitch
fork.
BARNABY
Maybe
that’s my point. I didn’t want
to
influence her judgement.
BARNABY
starts to uncork a bottle of wine.
BARNABY
Anyway,
I’m not entirely sure it was
a
homicidal maniac.
- 84 -
CULLY
So who
wanted to kill him?
BARNABY
Quite a
few people actually. He was
having
an affair with the vet’s wife
and he
was carrying on with
someone
else’s daughter.
CULLY
At the
same time?
BARNABY
And
then there’s the burglaries. He
was
breaking into peoples’ houses.
CULLY
You
don’t murder someone because
they’ve
burgled you do you?
BARNABY
As a matter
of fact, that’s exactly
what
one of them threatened.
Edward
Allardice said as much to
me. “If
I ever get my hands on the
little
bastard who did this. I’ll kill
him.”
His was the last house to be
broken
into. Maybe he found out
who did
it and took the law into his
own
hands.
CULLY
Edward
Allardice?
BARNABY
Yes.
CULLY
The
actor.
BARNABY
Troy
mentioned he used to be an
actor.
Yes. Do you know him?
CULLY
Dad!
I’ve just been reading about
him.
Edward Allardice did four
- 85 -
seasons
at the Playhouse. He did
Hamlet.
Titus Andronicus. Malade
Imaginaire.
The Importance…You
know he
was married to Jane
Bradley.
BARNABY
She was
also an actress.
CULLY
Actress.
Model. She was always in
Vogue
and Vanity Fair. Back in the
sixties
she was said to be one of the
most
beautiful women in the world.
She
made a lot of films in America.
But
then she died.
BARNABY
Do you
know how?
CULLY
It was
a car crash. I think. Is he
really
living in Midsomer Mallow?
It’s
amazing. Do you think I could
see
him?
BARNABY
I don’t
know. He struck me as
rather
reclusive. He lives in a big
house.
Greyfriars. He’s on his own.
CULLY
But you
wouldn’t mind if I contacted
him? He
was part of the golden
period
of the Causton Playhouse. He
could
tell me everything I need to
know.
BARNABY
I
suppose not. Although he is still
theoretically
a suspect in my
investigation.
CULLY
Come
on, dad. He wouldn’t murder
a local
delinquent! He’s a famous
actor!
- 86 -
BARNABY
Maybe
not. But someone did.
CULLY
wrinkles her nose.
CULLY
Is
lasagne meant to smell like that?
BARNABY
turns towards the microwave and sniffs the air.
BARNABY
Let’s
go out.
CUT TO
Page 5
